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Right now..

At this moment..

My heart hurts..

Alot..

No matter how many times I write it, nor how many times I say it, it hurts..

It hurts alot..

Frick.

Let Your glory be revealed, please and thank You.

Man God.

My only request to You is..

Let this passion continue to burn deeper, and greater.

I'm far from burning out, I will never burn out because Your love is simply too good to be true,

but I just want more. Is it too much to ask for more of You?

I hate being a church, a "ministry" that's just content with everything.

BUT

Doesn't everything flow from the top down?

Maybe I should look in the mirror and say, well you don't have the same attitude as last year.

Well, after praying about it..I understand that last year I was in molding the foundation mode, and now I'm in working on the people around me mode.

Interestingly enough I just finished up my first mentorship session and it went fairly well, I think? Haha only time will tell on what God is truly doing in GPC.

I love faithful, obedient, and willing to sacrifice, hearts. It's what's going to take this ministry to the next level, but it's going to be a huge hurdle.

I truly believe that God is installing people with that same attitude that I had last year. I'm in a season where I just get to advise and listen to God and try to position people the best to succeed.

Seasons come and go. Falling leaves, to snow, to fresh blossoms, and awesome sun. Seasons come and go with ministry, and I'm understanding what season I'm currently in..

What Identity I'm walking in...

So my last thing to speak would be, can I just hear Your voice a little bit more clear?

Your grateful son,

JBH

P.S. The revelation of God and His love is crazy. CRAZY.

Don't be scared to be swept off your feet.

ALSO..

I was skimming through some of my other posts, and if you haven't been able to read them, you should :)

God bless!

My thoughts as February begins.

I'm turning 21 in 2 days.

FRICK.

Where has the time gone? I remember as if it were yesterday that I was playing football as a youngin' with the GPC crew back in the day, down at the other church. Peyton Manning doesn't know this, but he did a reenactment of his SNL skit(which was a total joke) of what Pastor Jay use to do to us(totally serious).

If we didn't catch the ball or if we messed up his rhythm, next time we got the ball, he was chucking it as hard as he could, at our heads.

True story, and Pastor isn't ashamed, he admits he was a jerk to us little ones lol, but GLORY, he's redeemed by Jesus.

On to another topic I guess, and this one also includes Pastor Jaymo.

The other night we met up and we had a 1 on 1 because, well ministry tends to let that happen, and it's definitely needed. I was prepared for what God was going to speak, but none the less, I was not prepared and there are some things that are just really rocking me right now.

*WARNING*

This is only about 10% of what's rattling through my brain.

Sacrifice and obedience.

Letting go for the sake of the cross.

These 2 things are just shaking up everything within me. Not just because it's for me, but it's for so many of the things that are going inside our church.

It's so relevant, yet we bind ourselves from making it happen.

What does sacrifice look like?

What does obedience look like?

What does letting go for the sake of the cross look like?

I look at everything around me and I can say this and that, and oh I think that this would be good and that would be good, but I'm not God. I don't make His decisions, and I'm nobody's boss, so I don't make anybody else's decision either..

BUT COME ON!!

I see this and all I want to do is rip my shirt off like the incredible hulk and scream as if someone has stolen my bride away from me.

But letting go for the sake of the cross..

I think I'm starting to understand this better. So if I've warned you about something, and you didn't listen, i'm not going to waste my time and keep bugging you. I'll continue to be there to love and support, but ultimately it's between you and God, and I'll wait for the "I told you so" moment.

It's crazy because I went through this with my Pastor. Crazy.

I just want to personally thank this person, you know who you are. Thank you for being obedient and listening to me even though you could've turned your back and go a different path. I'm going to do my best to help you become a great leader. Jesus already made the call.

There are other things that are bugging me, BUT..

Until next time. I must go work out.

-JBH