So for the first time in a while I've actually had a desire to write. OK. I totally wrote like a paragraph and erased it all because I was just straight up venting. WELL isn't this my blog? Aren't I allowed too?
Frick.
I just want to scream and go crazy and just punch a very very soft pillow because of everything that has been going on. Call me crazy, but that's how much I love my youth kids. I'll swallow everything I've said. As a leader I'm going to go through some joys, but I'm going to go through some pain and I have to learn how to endure.
I feel like alot has been "PINNED" against the leaders for earlier actions that somehow managed to continue even though we are not doing it any longer.
Let me explain.
We use to go out to eat every Friday night after church because it just felt right. Full cars, empty stomachs, great experience during church, time to talk and not worry about anything. Just being able to relate with everyone one on one, break bread, talk, laugh, and to just have a great time. FUN RIGHT?
Wrong.
The downfall of this was kids getting home past 12 or 1 o clock.
We understand what we did was not just, therefore we stopped doing the whole "applebees" thing so we can respect the parents wishes and concerns. Once my dad got involved I then realized how serious everything was. So I listened to him and I took everyone home right after church was over. Now it just seems that now if someone comes home late or doesn't respond to their parents requests, blame is immediately put on us.
The reason why I write this is so I can explain to everyone why we can't and how much I wish we could.
I preach transparency.
Honestly I cried today out of frustration because no one wants to acknowledge the fact that myself, Ji-Soo, and Josh are trying our fricking hardest to help build a ministry. There are those who support us 100%, but what got to me the most is my parents said something to me that rattled me.
My parents have always supported me, ALWAYS. I don't blame them because everyone is confronting them about the situations of the past, and not me. But when my parents can't even put 100% faith in me and what I'm doing, I really feel like crap. When they say", Why can't I just respect parents wishes", it honestly frustrates me..
I'm not responsible for miscommunication, bad parenting, or lack of responsibility.
and I'm also not responsible for what any youth kid does after church.
So I'll say this again.
I preach transparency.
Please, if you go out, do not associate the word "church" with you guys hanging out. Please it has gotten to a point where we can't be trusted with what we do as leaders.
I speak out of my heart and I speak with love.
This needs to stop, please obey your parents.
I warned you. Hopefully my next post will be more happier! (=
